While I felt that I was spinning my wheels in place, making no headway for the last few months, things are moving now. Dale's housemates Craig and Terry have agreed to adopt Dutch. This makes me very happy. My brother and his wife in MA had offered to take him, as they were looking for a dog. But this way he will still be close by and I can see him all the time. On the heels of this news I finally received a call from Comcast about a job interview. I was wondering what was taking them so long, but I'm actually glad as I wanted to finish out as much of the year as possible at the fire department. I have my interview on Wednesday and I'm hoping that I can give at least 2 weeks notice at my present job. I feel like I'm packing a parachute after not doing so for a long time. I'm making plans on paying off bills and adjusting to my new (read: 'lower') income. finances will be tighter, but not too bad. But I'm giving up the ultimate in job security. I have about 60 people below me on the seniority list at the fire dept. I could have this job till retirement age if I wanted. But I feel the need to move on into the world of computers. I feel the need to be closer to the cutting edge. Firefighting has been a wonderful experience that I will take with me and cherish always. But the security of my job comes with the price of a very limited choice of career growth. The career path is short and gets very narrow as you move up. I'm hoping that the world of computers will give me more room to grow and find new challenges.

I'm pushing myself to model this blog after LiveJournal. Shorter, more frequent entries. So stay tuned for more in the near future. I'm working on a piece on the nature and purpose of memory that should go up later this week.

Well, I haven't updated the blog in a long time. I've been meaning to, but just haven't found the will to do it. One reason is that I've been a bit run down lately, which after many tests the doctor attributes to stress. I'd have to agree. I've really been pushing to move to Seattle and it's put a lot of stress on me. I'm not one to ask others for help much, but I need it now. One thing I have stressed about lately is that, even with a job offer in Seattle, I still have to do something about my dog, Dutch. The apartment I have committed to doesn't allow pets. I had plans but they have all fallen through. So I am putting his picture up here and asking if anyone knows of anyone who might be willing to provide him with a foster home for 10 months or so, to let me know. He is a very calm, mature (10 years old) dog who is still quite active. He's a Dutch Shepherd (thus his name). He's medium sized and about 70 pounds. I'd be willing to provide for his food while he is living with someone else. He's gentle and has lived happily with cats and other dogs, but it does take him a little while to get used to other dogs. Thus I don't let him run around off lease in public because he might start a fight with other dogs if he feels his dominance is being threatened. Mind you he has never hurt another dog, if he ever did had he would have been put to sleep. Dog fights are more about noise and acting tough than anything else. Any dog that draws blood, whether from another dog or a human is not right in the head and should be put down immediately. He is some what protective of any one he feels is in his 'pack'. If I was out in public and someone were to grab my arm, he would most certainly grab THEIR arm. Not bite them, just grab them firmly to tell them to let go. I don't bring this request for help up lightly. This dog has been my companion for almost 10 years now. I adopted him when he was just about full grown. He is very smart and trainable. When he comes into the house he will go and lay on his bed, many times without even being told. He has a thick coat in the winter and could be an outside dog in somewhere more temperate like Seattle. If someone became very attached to him I would be open to them keeping him. I only want him to be happy. Take a look a what a beautiful dog he is and please let me know if you can help. I can be reached at andy(at)northwestposse(dot)com. Thank you.

Wow! I'm just now getting around to putting up the Lazy Bear trip update. I left town on the 11th and headed to Seattle. On the 12th I took a test at Bates College in Tacoma for a list that 8 fire departments will draw from, let's just hope they are hiring! With that done I began to prepare for my Lazy Bear trip. I would be driving down there with J.D. in my car and Steve and his buddy Andrew, who was visiting from England, in Steve's Explorer. After prepping the car for the trip (155,000 miles and running like a top) we headed out Tuesday night after J.D. got off work. We made it a short first leg, stopping at my farmer buddy Steve's house in Canby. He welcomed us with a long soak in the hot tub. After another soak in the hot tub the next morning we headed south again. A sunny 7 or so hours later we were in Redding CA. We found a hotel for the night and continued the next morning. We arrived in Guerneville that afternoon at Fife's resort, the headquarters for Lazy Bear. We checked in and set up our campsite. We had a nice site under the trees, and we put up our 10'x20' Costo tent. The sites on either side of us were occupied by friends from Seattle and San Francisco. This was my first Lazy Bear and I didn't know what to expect. I was certainly not disappointed with the 4 days that followed. We purchased our 'Bear Tags' that helped raise over $110,000 that weekend. The also got us 50 cent beers at the pool every day! I've never spent so much time in the sun, and with my shirt off the whole time no less. Friday night we walked down to club FAB for 'Stink', a parody of the traditional Saturday night dance called 'Sweat'. Great music was spun while we danced below projected images from that days pool party and 'Lady Bear Parade' (go Martin!). Saturday found us once again at the pool for more beer and dancing. That evening, instead of going to 'Sweat' for $20, Martin set up his turntables (they had a power cord to their campsite) and Bundy set up his CDJ's. Add some powered speakers and some Christmas lights strung over head, and instant dance floor. We moved our bodies to the beats till the Fire Marshall showed up and pulled the plug! So we headed off to the bonfire for a couple hours. Sunday was the one of the biggest days for the pool party, with lots of locals from San Francisco and Sacramento showing up. More dancing, more beer and more bears! That evening was 'Foam' at club FAB. If you've never been to a 'Foam' dance, it's worth the experience. Check your clothes after stripping to your shorts and then lather yourself with baby oil (the foam will dry you out otherwise) and hit the dance floor. Two large machines spewed foam on the crowd while we danced. We left around midnight to get over to the bonfire to hear Martin spin at the Bunkhouse. Damn he can spin the vinyl! After dancing for a couple hours I headed to the tent to catch some shut eye. Monday we slowly got in gear and packed our stuff for the trip home. We drove down to San Francisco to spend the night. We hung out at the Lonestar with a large group who had been at Lazy Bear, a great way to wind down the trip. The next day, after breakfast in the Castro (Thanks to MikeNetExtreme who ever you are, for letting us piggy back on your wireless network to check mail with my laptop) we headed north. We couldn't leave California without hitting In N Out Burger for lunch. We made it to the Bear Mountain campground near Lake Shasta before dark. We set up our tent in the 106 degree heat, yuck!, and then headed into Redding for a movie and some food, anything to get away from the heat! The next morning we hid from the heat using our AC, till we crossed into Oregon, where it was cool(er) and breezy. We spent another night at Steve's in Canby, where Rick and Andrew made us an incredible dinner spread before we dropped into the hot tub. The following day we packed Steve into my car and made the last leg of the trip to Seattle. Andrew stayed behind to do some windsurfing in the Dalles, know world wide for it's windsurfing. I spent a couple relaxing days in Seattle before heading home to Spokane. The most memorable thing about Lazy Bear will be all the new friends I made. Bob, Andy, Martin, Jason, Todd, Kyle, David, Kyros, Marco, Jason and Marciano, and many more! Plus I got to party with many of my friends from near and far. Trust me, Lazy Bear 2004 is not to be missed next year. See you there!
Wanna see pictures? Well then click on the picture below to see my photo gallery.

Wow, what a weekend. I originally planned to go to Seattle last weekend to see Bob Mould perform at the Crocodile Cafe. I was excited to see him live, as I have never gotten the chance previously. I then realized he was playing as part of the Bent Festival, the queer music festival. And of course it was Pride weekend! Duh! So I headed to Seattle on Friday, after a grueling week on the asphalt conducting hose test for every truck on my department. I got in late friday evening but that didn't stop me and J.D. from going to The Cuff for a beer. The next day we relaxed and met up with Steve for lunch. That evening me, Vic, J.D. and Ian all headed to the Bob Mould show. I have never before felt the way I did when he opened on his 12 string guitar with "Wishing Well" from his solo album Workbook. I was literally vibrating with a kind of Joy. This music made a big impact on my life when I first heard it. Bob has always been my guitar hero, from the days of punk rock with Husker Du to his power rock of Sugar and his solo stuff. Bob came out during that time and gave me someone gay to look up to. His song "Along The Way" really struck a chord in my when I realized he was talking about coming out to people and their reactions.He played an amazing acoustic set, then to my surprise he switched to electric. Songs that I thought I'd never get to hear live were played, both Sugar and Husker Du. He played two encores, maybe a bit much for those who aren't rabid fans like me.

The next day I got up at an ungodly early time (about 7:00) and Ian and I headed to the Canadian border. We were bound for "Mission Impossible", a meeting of Mini Cooper owners. We arrived just in time and the minis were assembled for a huge group photo. Here are some.

After that we were given a map and were off to Craig's, the only mini parts shop in the west. Unfortunately when we got to the ferry crossing, the ferry's ramp was busted and we all had to turn around and try and 'follow the leader' as we journeyed off the map on a new route to Craig's. We made it and all the Minis (about 40 or so) parked on the lawn to show off their engines and interiors. After touring the shop and buying parts we headed to the pub for food and then on to home. The exciting part for me was getting to drive the Mini (a right hand driver) back to Seattle. It was great fun. Thanks Ian!

Ian's Mini

A very hot Mini with Nitrous!

We arrived home tired, about 7:00 p.m. But we knew we couldn't resist going to The Cuff for post Pride festivities. Luckily Paul was working one of the gates and we slipped in avoiding any crowds or cover charge. EVERYONE was there. And in full party mode. I saw so many friends and friendly faces. The beer was cold and the sun was still shining. My good friends immediately removed my shirt. I never thought I would feel comfortable with my shirt off in public, but these guys have sure changed me (for the better). Steve snapped a picture of me with J.D. and Ian. I have known these guys just a little over 2 months, but they have made me feel so welcome in their lives. Here's a pic of us after a few beers ;-).

Well, I head back to Seattle on the 11th and then down the coast on the 16th for Lazy Bear Weekend. Hope to see you there!

Last Days of Disco (Yo La Tengo)

Saw you at a party
You asked me to dance
Said music was great for dancing
I don't really dance much
But this time I did
And I was glad that I did this time

And the song said "Let's be happy"
I was happy
It never made me happy before
And the song said "Don't be lonely"
It makes me lonely
I hear it and I'm lonely more and more

Where I belong, where I belong

I wasn't dressed right, I rarely am
You told me that you didn't care
I laughed as you wobbled in your platform shoes
You laughed when I called Andrea true Anita Ward

And the song said "Let's be happy"
I was happy
It never made me happy before
And the song said "Don't be lonely"
It makes me lonely
I hear it and I'm lonely more and more

Where I belong, where I belong

And the song said "Let's be happy"
I was happy
It never made me happy before
It asked "Do you remember?"
And I remember, remember like it wasn't long ago
And the song said "Don't be lonely"
It makes me lonely
I hear it and I'm lonely more and more

Where I belong, where I belong

I just had to reprint these lyrics, from Yo La Tengo's previous album, "And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out". You have to hear them sung in Ira Kaplan's soft voice over the eerie rythms that back him up. My most obssesed about song on this album so far, it pegs what I love about Yo La Tengo. They write songs that somehow capture memories of places I've never been and things I haven't done. But some how the memory is there. I have images of driving through the dark, in a town I don't know, strange suburbs slide by the window. It has that luster of the memory of a magic spot in time, the ones that seem to only happen late at night and when morning comes, the exact sensations and thoughts are erased. Leaving you with just the memory. I'll be in Seattle again this week, from Thursday to Sunday, and on Friday night I have the pleasure of seeing them perform live at the Showbox. I can't wait, they really are worth seeing live. I'll also be at the New Pornographers/Cinerama show on Saturday. You should check them out.

Spent the afternoon dismantling the old chain link fence that cuts the back yard in half. I'd finished the board fence and now the dog could have the entire back yard to roam. Thank god they didn't use too much concrete when they set those posts!
Then I took the dog for his walk up overlooking the lake. It was a beautiful sunset and I grabbed some pictures to share.

The view from our walk. My house is a little off to the left of the lake.

Typical Spokane sunset.

Well, it was another guerilla trip to Seattle. Get in, See band play, Get out. I left on Sunday morning right after getting off work, loaded up with caffein, and went non stop to Seattle. The cruise control built into my right foot kept me at 75 the whole way. In just under 4 hours I was pulling off I-5 onto Capital Hill. I headed to the back side of Queen Anne hill to stop and see my friends Jeff and Maia. They were having a lazy Sunday afternoon and we just hung out and talked. It was good to catch up. I'd been to Seattle 3 times in the last month and hadn't stopped by. Bad friend! After hanging for a couple hours I headed over to J.D and Ian's place. Ian had just gotten in and I was coming down hard from my coffee high. He said the word nap and that was all it took to make me get sleepy. After a brief nap we woke up and headed out to get Ian a ticket to Built to Spill that night at the Showbox. We got rock star parking right across the street and parked Ian's Mini in a seemingly giant parking space. The line for tickets stretched around the corner of the building. Bad sign. We went to the bar attached to the Showbox and ordered a beer. I asked the guy at the door if that line was for buying tickets. He said "that line's for everything" then lowering his voice he says, "but we open the door from the bar first". So we enjoyed our Bass ale and when they opened the door we entered ahead of the crowd to be the first in line. Ian got his ticket and we headed back to hook up with J.D. for dinner. We decided on Mexican and filled our bellies at Azteca. We got back to their place and after a while jumped into J.D.'s car so he could drop us at the Showbox. The show was, to me, a little on the short side. But made up for it in quality. They played some of my favorites from both "Keep It Like A Secret" and "Perfect From Now On". The final song was their signature 15 minute version of "Cortez The Killer".
The next day I lingered till afternoon. I was loading my computer up with mp3s from Ian's collection. So many bands and songs I don't know, I love it! I stopped by Steve's to say hi and return the key I had forgotten on my last visit. I ended up hanging around and chatting till rush hour, D'oh! I slogged my way across the bridges and out of town. It was another beautiful day to drive and the mountains flowed by. As I drifted down the Vantage grade and across the Columbia river the sun was hanging low and the stereo pulsed with the beat of John Digweed. It was magical. I stopped on the other side at the Wild Horses monument to take a few pictures.

The Wild Horses Monument.

The Columbia River Gorge.

My trusty VW, I call him Helmut. 152,000 miles without a complaint.

So, I know that I shouldn't be reading the Letters to the Editor section of the newspaper, because I swear they just print the most inflammatory letters to get attention. But I read this one in the local paper today:

Gay marriages fraught with problems

Recent letters to the editor in favor of gay marriage conveniently ignore three significant points.

First, to redefine marriage to include same-sex unions unwittingly opens a Pandora's Box by interpreting any self-described loving relationship as worthy of marriage. Why not two men and a woman, or two men and a child?

Second, this solemn lifestyle should be seen for what it is _ a public health hazard. Homosexuals have shockingly high numbers of sexual partners. This leads to numerous diseases like gay bowel syndrome, HIV/AIDS, HPV (a collection of 70 types of viruses), hepatitis, gonorrhea and syphilis. Even so-called committed same-sex relationships are fraught with these health risks.

Third, thousands of homosexuals who desire to leave the lifestyle have done so successfully. This fact alone contradicts the myth that homosexuality is genetically predetermined.

Rather than embrace their socially and physically destructive lifestyles as normal, perhaps we should encourage gays and lesbians to get help for their sexually-compulsive behavioral choices.

Don S. Otis
Sandpoint
Sagle, ID

In case I haven't had the chance to tell you, I've already decided to move to Seattle by this time next year. I've been spending a bit of time there and have made some really good friends there. It really is another world from here. Gay is such a non-issue there. I am presently applying to take a couple tests that could put me on the hiring lists of about 20 fire departments around the greater Seattle area. If I don't have a job by this time next year, I'll start to look for other work that would allow me to move. I'll be keeping the house here in Liberty Lake, and looking for a roomate situation somewhere in Seattle. That way I'll have the house here as a vacation place. Some where to get away to.

I'm tired of the hick attitude that pervades this whole area. Spokane really tries to 'be something' but it's hayseeds are showing. It's the ultimate 'family town' in that EVERYTHING is geared towards a husband and wife with 2.5 kids. The old bumper sticker says 'Hate is not a family value', but I think Spokane still hasn't figured it out. I have often pointed out to people that there are many famous people from Spokane. FROM being the important point here. Anyone with any kind of ambition to be something more seems to flee at a young age. Some come back, but many don't.

So a year from now I'll call this town quits. A nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here. I just wish I could move tomorrow. How much is that Mega Millions jackpot?

You have to love the Canadians. While our government seems to get more and more hysterical and seemingly insane, theirs has a sense of humor. How can you fear a government that puts up signs like this:

found on BoingBoing

I usually don't feel affected by things that happen at work. It's not that I repress these thing that I witness, it's just that I let them pass through me. Retaining them would only cause stress, so I just process and let go. But the other day we went on a run that turned out to be a man who died in his sleep. He'd been in the hospital that week for a possible heart attack. They had released him, and as he lived far out in the country, his grandson took him to stay at his apartment. The grandson slept on the couch, giving his grandfather his bed. He checked him in the morning and he wasn't breathing. He called 911 and we responded. It was apparent that his grandfather had passed some time during the night, there was nothing we could do. The young grandson was devastated. His aunt eventually showed up. She became hysterical and ran outside. We had to go out and coax her back into the apartment. Now, this is where people might find my views kind of strange, if they are not in the emergency medicine field. I know I can't imagine her pain, as I have yet to lose either of my parents, or any of my immediate family for that matter. But as an adult I guess I expected her to take on the adult responsibility and get control of her emotions. Her nephew was having a tough time keeping it together, and she being the adult... that's just the way I am I guess. This call didn't affect me in any way out of the normal, though I did wish that I had more words of consolation for his grandson. Later that day I was talking to my parents, back east, on the phone. I enjoy talking to them on the phone, but I'm not a usually a long phone conversation type of person. I tend towards efficiency. My dad was telling me a story that he had told me earlier in the week, but didn't realize he was repeating himself. I didn't stop him or tell him he's already told me this. I closed my eyes and sat back and just enjoyed the sound of his voice. It occurred to me that some day I wouldn't have this simple pleasure. Some things can never be gotten back once they are gone.